Happiness is more subtle than i ever thought, but it seems to be quite pervasive too. That's what I feel when I see people around. They look happy, truly happy. And the happiness seems to drive them - to be good to others, to achieve success. I think i know what happiness is, but i don't know how to get it. My friends who know me would feel strange if they read what i have just written. Most of them think i am very happy and satisfied most of the time.
When i say happiness drives people to success, I may sound a bit cliched. But, this is what i have started believing lately. Again, such a statement is quite pervasive in literature, and i bet all of us have read it many times and in so many places that we hardly stop back and think whenever we read it. Moreover, I don't think most of us ever actually agree with the statement. And, it is a fad to state things just opposite such cliche's, such as, 'honestly may not be the best policy' etc.
It is not my intention nor my ability to be able to write words, reading which I will be able to convey that being truly happy may be the most essential ingredient of being successful. However, I would settle to something simpler - just mentioning what I have realized lately. Happiness is quite strongly coupled to self confidence. A person low in confidence will not be happy for sure. Whereas, a happy person will be confident. What is the cause and what is the effect, i don't know. But both these qualities seem to exist together. Most of us perceive a happy person as one who is carefree, vagabond, one who doesn't feel strongly about achieving any more goals in life except that of a happy, settled and a carefree family life. He is satisfied and cosy with his job, life and whatever he is doing presently. I think such a person is not genuinely happy. Such a person may be extremely desperate in life, he may be extremely jealous of people, his friends who are successful. A happy person is a person who struggles in his work, who works hard when others quit. A person who wonders about past and dawdles in the present is surely not happy, which is the reason why he is looking back to his past, which, now is certain, and hence reaffirming. That' s a sign of a person low in confidence.
So, now the most important question. Are you happy? Well, as I said, happiness is a subtle emotion. So, it is not easy to judge oneself also if we are happy. I would say the easiest trick to determine if you are happy or not is to see if you look back to your past with a 'everthing was so good those days' feeling. If you do, then probably you are not happy. Another signature of an unhappy person is that he will not talk his heart. That is, he will be afraid to mention his true emotions, his true intentions to other people. Such hypocricy points to unhappiness.
OK, now the next question that props up in mind is, is there a way to change ourselves to be happy? if we do know that we are unhappy, what can we do about it? I think there is a way. It requires a consistant effort, but I think it will work. Here are some ways i think we can improve - speak with your heart out - always and with everyone. Trust your emotions, your intentions. Don't hide them from others. Further, don't let yourself not affected by what others say about you - ahha, that's another cliched statement. But, you would agree at least with this that it is not very easy to not get affected with what others think about you. I read a quote once (oh, last cliche' i promise!) - 'if you get happy when others say good things about you, then surely you will feel bad when others will say bad things about you'. Another suggestion, don't let yourself be in a hole. With that i mean, don't restrict yourself to the routine things you do all the time. The more you enter a routine life, the more difficult it will be to come out of it.. and there are so many better things in life you will be missing. I am not asking you to quit your job, pack bags and go hitch-hiking. No, do your job, with great enthusiasm, but find time, at least once in some brief period to try some new thing for recreation. It will make you happy, trust me, and you would ask yourself why you didnt try it before.
Who am I to do a 'shiv khera'? nobody. It's just that i too look back to my past, i too think about what others will say to my acts.
